Coercive Control or as I like to call it: Modern Unlawful Prison

Gambe
3 min readFeb 21, 2022

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by Stella Furquim

Art by: Jacco Wolters

“Divorce is difficult enough on our children and Kanye’s obsession with trying to control and manipulate our situation so negatively and publicly is only causing further pain for all,” she went on. “From the beginning I have wanted nothing but a healthy and supportive co-parenting relationship because it is what is best for our children and it saddens me that Kanye continues to make it impossible every step of the way.” Kim Kardashian

The very publicly post-divorce co-parenting issues going on between Kim Kardashian and Ye (formerly known as Kanye West) is something that goes on a lot in the world of women around the world.

Ask around and you may be lucky enough to hear stories about other people’s striking similar experiences to the one Kardasian (and her new beau) is going through right now. Not everybody feels comfortable exposing that to family and friends though.

Nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women according to a 2015 research study conducted by the American Sociological Association (ASA) and I know why.

Women just get exhausted.

Exhausted to the point they are willing to risk a lot in the process because all they want is peace of mind and a healthy environment for their children to grow up in and they also seek absence of the partner that basically drains their energy.

We all know that women do most of the unpaid work there is such as supervising their kids and house chores. There is more to it. Many men practice the art that they are well versed on: domestic violence.

Now, here, note that many women do not see how much micro-aggression they suffer everyday in their domestic lives because some of these aggressions are so normalized, that we all think nothing of certain actions.

Some men monitor their wives movements in real life and digital life. Many men gaslight their partners frequently. Others have the last word on some big financial decision such as buying or not a house, a car or how their family is. Some women still feel compelled to have sexual relations with their husbands because they see it as part of their obligation within the couple’s life. The list goes on.

Many men do not accept the fact that their partner wants a divorce and the situation may escalate to the point of femicide. Numbers are rising around the world or for the first time, considered as a crime with its own characteristics.

Because of this reality and crimes and the lack of protection women find within the systems in countries (try registering a report with the police for psychological violence even where it is against the law), many decide to stay in a relationship that reminds them more of a prison. The key to the holding cell is at the door but if the woman leaves, what kind of future she and her kids are going to have?

No matter the situation, we all have a responsibility and that is to stop this type of harassment and trial of coercive control against women and children.

Respect women and demand accountability for the people that do not respect them.

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